Sports Guy and Gal Week 5 Highlights

Favorite part of the Sports Guy's Week 5 Picks:

HERM EDWARDS (-3) over the Unintentional Comedy ScaleDid you see the Hermster in the locker room after K.C.'s upset of Denver? If you missed it and want to get a feeling for what happened, scream the next two sentences at the top of your lungs and see how everyone else at work reacts ...
"Let's build on that! LET'S BUILD ON THAT!!!!!!"

THE IHOP ON SUNSET & MANSFIELD (+9) over the IHOPs everywhere else in Los AngelesRight now, I'm writing this column and eating corn pancakes at -- you guessed it! -- the IHOP on Sunset and Mansfield. Two strippers are sitting 10 feet away from me, discussing their next month of gigs and occasionally sneaking me those "If you have enough money on you right now, we might add you to the list of gigs" looks. A group of five hungover guys in their 20s are sitting behind me and recapping last night on the town, which included a bedroom story so over the top that I don't think I could have even printed it on my old Web site. Two tables over, an old lady complained that she ate too much and started coughing/retching, then her nurse provided her a plastic bag and the old lady threw up in it for three solid minutes. If that's not enough, "Even the Nights Are Better" by Air Supply is playing on the jukebox. Top that, every other IHOP in L.A.! Let's build on that! LET'S BUILD ON THAT!!!!!!"

The Sports Gal's Rant for the gals that read this blog:

Our boy hit the Destructo phase six weeks ago. He used to be the easiest, happiest kid! He could play with the same toy for an hour. He could sleep in restaurants or be smuggled into movies. No more. Now he gets his kicks from sticking his face in a dog bowl, or opening a drawer, pulling out all the clothes, then opening and shutting it until he slams his finger. You don't want to travel with Destructo. We flew cross-country two weeks ago and I am still drinking two glasses of wine every night to recover. OK, three. All right, it's a whole bottle. It was just me and him on the way back. Think about holding a 25-pound fish that's wiggling to get back into the ocean for six hours as the fish emits bloodcurdling screams and you're stressing that everyone hates you.